Posts Tagged ‘parents’

Spanking is Violence (not discipline)

May 25, 2008

OK, my opinion on this is one I will admit cannot be changed. Perhaps I may gain some more respect for those “spankers” out there (and I am referring to children – what you do in your bedroom is your own business) and their views, although admittedly, I doubt it.

What brings this up? A friend of mine was recently talking about “having to” spank her little girl (about 3.5) and put her to bed early. I think by my silence on the phone line she knew what was coming. I’m not exactly known for being meek. And how could any adult HAVE TO perform an act of violence on a child. Aren’t we supposed to be the ones in control? Not just of our actions and emotions, but of the physical and emotional well-being of our kids?

I held my tongue and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. And it was totally chickenshit on my part. SO I am unleashing here (and she’s a reader so hopefully she gets it).

But so many times you hear a parent say they lost control. That makes it acceptable to hit?!?! Anyone, let alone a child? Or perhaps these are the types of parents who explain to a child WHY they will soon be humiliated and physically harmed as a “sensitive” way to inflict violence.

And you question whether spanking is a violent act? REALLY?!?!

Consider these scenarios:

==> You go into a bar, get into a fight and pop someone in the nose. You get arrested. You cannot hit a total stranger;

==> A husband hits his wife (or vice versa, or boyfriend is hit by girlfriend, or partners, but you get the picture). This is called domestic violence – hopefully someone gets arrested (although we all know that is not always the case and is a topic for another time);

==> You punch your best friend in the nose because she does something shitty to you. You get into trouble. She could press charges, and YOU could get arrested;

==> Your boss hits you because you used work email for personal messages.

(Alright, some of these seem to be kind of far-fetched examples, but really, aren’t they just far-fetched because laws prevent them from being prevalent?) In our society it is NOT OK to hit (unless you are a boxer for sport, which is barbaric, but just my little ole opinion inserted here). Or unless you are hitting a child or an animal.

We teach our children that the strong should not pick on the weak. Yet, if we in turn hit our children, we are teaching them that it is actually OK, not just to hit, but to beat up on the weaker among us. We become hypocrites, violent hypocrites. Is THIS the lesson you want to teach?

You may not believe it, but your kids really do watch what you do. They really absorb what you say. You really are molding them emotionally, intellectually for what and who they will become.

So why can’t my hubby go in tomorrow, and because his co-worker didn’t complete his job, thereby causing hubby to have to work a longer day, hit that co-worker.

Because he would get fired.

Because hitting is wrong.

Because hitting is violence.

Violence/hitting in the workplace is illegal.

And spanking is hitting.

Therefore spanking is a violent act. One of the only violent acts that is ignored by society (this and, once again, hitting animals). That is another topic and one that I could rant on about for days. And maybe sometime I will.

We can ignore the weakest among us. Because they are weak and have no voice. And so we do.

Isn’t that sad? It makes me so angry. I am ashamed that I didn’t say something to my friend, that I didn’t question her actions. Especially when I hear parents say they were forced, their child pushed them to that point. These are CHILDREN. THEY can be pushed, but YOU are the adult. You are supposed to have control. You may have to walk away and calm down, try another form of discipline, but hitting is never the answer.


Get it?

Spanking. IS. Violence.

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